Epilogue- Catching UP

I came back in today and read over and relived those early days on Secondlife.  You know what?  I still get hot reading a few of those old episodes about my first SL relationship.  I was SO lucky!

So first let's wrap up the loose ends.
I never did speak to Daddy again and eventually the lease ran out on the house and yacht.  He would have recovered all of those toys in his inventory when they were repossessed.  It turns out he must have paid for a good month's worth because it was open for a good while.  Long enough for me to take Ponyboy there and let him play with me.

My relationship with Ponyboy became quite intense in a short time.  I really liked him but knew he was very young behind that avatar.  Just a kid and the guilt of what might happen to him if he ever found out was killing me.  So it was time to go.  The most intense experience with him was when he asked me point blank: Are you a guy?

It was the moment of truth.  And I lied my ass off.  Sort of.  There was actually more truth than fiction in what I told him.  I told him I did have a terrible secret that I has been hiding from him and that I hid it because I really really like him and liked playing with him and how he made me feel.  All this was true.  And then I revealed by secret, with profound apologies for keeping him in the dark.  I told him I was actually a middle-aged married woman with two kids.  The only lie was the word 'woman' but I realized that this kid's emotional survival might hinge on that one word.  And I think I did the right thing.  You could just feel the weight lift from him as while this was somewhat tragic in his mind, it was not nearly as bad as if he had been deceived by a dude.  He was able to accept this as well as why I couldn't really play with him anymore.  And we did meet as friends a couple more times within that year.  Lesson learned.

My elf girl went to a medieval roleplay sim and while I did occasionally take her out for kinky encounters, she mostly played within that realm as the veritable virgin priestess of Iluvatar, Tolkien's elven god.

It was my male alt that began to take over, and HE played in the same realm, also as an elf and I spent a number of years playing there.  I did have some very very close and intimate relationships while there with a couple of fairies, a demon, a dragon and maybe even a human!  The fairies remain friends even to this day.  One of them would have a profound impact on my future role play and how I would progress, Kink-wise.

She introduced me to the world of Gor.  And it is where I play at the present day as a warrior Master and owner of a couple of pleasure slaves.  I still maintain a female character who has played a slave and been owned, but I've always kept some distance whether as Master or slave.

I still let my female alt out to play once in awhile

Pony Boy

He would definitely not like being called this, but I have no idea what else to call a relatively new friend. His most defining physical characteristic is his rather large and pronounced horse's tail. In SL, there are lots of people walking about with tails and animal ears and even nonhuman characters. At the center of Bay City, just outside the airport, one is likely to encounter the full spectrum of SL personalities and characters interacting.

It was at this crowded location that I first met him a few days ago. I had identified myself in my profile as a kinky, somewhat submissive elf and this does tend to get me a bit more attention of all sorts. And Pony could not resist having a go at me. At first, I didn't really like him at all. He was heavily tattooed, had a careless mop of hair and was an insouciant smartass from the start. He would have no idea what it is I just called him, but he could probably guess that it wasn't nice but take it as a compliment anyway. He had a way of really confusing the hell out of me and one of my early jokes was to claim that my neko translator must be acting up. He insists that he's not a neko, but he could so easily pass for one he might as well be.

His off-the-wall comments seemed to always keep me off balance and it was just difficult chatting with him. But chat we did, and he was trying to warm me up, and I suppose he succeeded because we did become friends after chatting the first night. The next night, it was nearly midnight when he appeared and asked if he could spank me.

Egad.

There are many things about Pony that indicate that the person on the other end of the keyboard is quite young. The slang goes terribly over my head (malfunctioning neko translator!) and he is into a much younger genre of music. And most of all, his understanding of kink is not very deep. However, conversations reveal that he could be a fast study. Or that I'm a pushover.

His spanking animation consisted of text and sound with little movement of his avatar, so it was pretty harmless. It was kind of humorous, because this was an area where I held the decisive advantage as far as experience and understanding. In contrast to Daddy, Pony does inspire a more dominant side of me. I can see that I will probably be topping from the bottom on this one if it goes that far.

The next time I saw him, I was down town and he came skidding around in a small red car. Obviously making quite and entrance. We chatted for a bit and he opened by wondering why my arms were so big. Now you all have seen my avatar, I never thought of my arms as being big! So I gave him much grief about calling me fat. Of course, he probably suspected that there was a guy on the other side of the kinky elf avatar, so he was probably fishing to see what he could troll up. I think unleashing my inner feminine insecurities about my weight and shape may have convinced him. At the very least, it put him on the defensive as I accused of him of calling me fat. Once he decided to let go of his suspicions, he was most interested in talking about my kinky-ness. Meanwhile, he managed to play a variety of music, and after giving me a couple of dance animations we spent a couple of hours dancing up the street from where the action normally is. Somewhere in the middle, lag got ahold of me and caused my machine to crash.

Don't let anyone tell you Linux never crashes or freezes up. It does.

When I returned, Pony was off to the side talking to a bird named Dave. Dave never danced or moved much the whole time, but he did chat and give music to Pony to play. The kinky talk resumed in IM, while we gathered a small crowd around us, some also joining in the dancing. At some point, I mused aloud about inviting him to my dungeon to play. His un-neko ears really pricked up at that. I explained that I didn't build it so much as it was built for me. Daddy hasn't re-added me to his friends list but the place and the toys are all still there. Pity to have such marvelous toys go to waste! But not this night, as it was late. I left him wondering and intrigued after using my collar animation to give him a kiss which he enjoyed.

Back to Being an Elf

I like being an elf, in case I never mentioned that before. I decided on one recent SL episode to go invisible to Daddy so I could explore and visit some of the Elven communities. My visits were quite short, though, because on weekends, lag is especially bad. But Daddy did know know when I was online, because every time I logged in, my collar let him know, with him being the owner and all. I felt a bit bad about the subterfuge, or the poor and sloppy attempt at it, but it does sort of go both ways. Even as my online status was transmitted out, his was also made known to me through the same collar script. Even when he showed he was offline, the collar did not lie. He was online. I was totally fine with this as I just assumed that he had other women around that he played with and I happened to be the latest toy who was hot and then not.
And so it has turned out rather awkwardly.

Thing is, I was so busy being a slut that I had forgotten about being an elf and I was missing something. So in order to address this need, I created a male elven alt.

Alts (alternate identities) are pretty common in SL, and it is not discouraged. In fact, it is somewhat encouraged as more characters mean more accessories which means more money for Linden Labs. In fact, alts are the best, most efficient way of creating more revenue because since they presumably wouldn't be on at the same time they don't contribute to lag while they add revenue and variety.

Of course my male and female did become friends so that a few things could be shared between them asynchronously, like cash and locations of places. I'm not going to get into my alt right now, but having him made it possible to go around and do more things without the entanglement of worrying about Daddy's feelings. Plus, my male side was not as concerned about getting fucked as my female side which made SL much more relaxing. He was sort of like an older brother to my she-elf who could sort of look out for me.

Um..that's starting to sound complicated. Nevermind.

I had my male alt look up Daddy's profile, which you can do for anyone whose name you know. And lo and behold, it had been recently updated. Apparently Daddy had found a new sub and lover in SL and RL and was proclaiming it to the world through his profile. Thing was...it wasn't me!

Imagine my shock and surprise at THAT! I have no problems with being the guy's mistress and might be keen on having a threesome with him and his main squeeze. But for several days, he has been avoiding me. And his name is not on my friends list. but the collar does not lie and neither does his profile. I haven't tried to IM him, but I really should before things get too out of hand. If they haven't already.

Once I realized that he had a sub who he was apparently devoted and loyal to (maybe I'm being naïve here), I wondered what would become of me. I mean the house and boat and everything is nice, but they were totally unplanned and I'm willing to give all that up. Hard to imagine him paying rent for me every month if he's not going to use me! But I had given him the main keys to my collar and THAT bothered me.

You see, once you have a primary owner, only he can unlock it or designate secondary owners. I'm fine wearing the thing all the time, but I'm not so fine not being able to play with others if I'm being sidelined. I know...not very submissive of me! But I want to play, and I thought I should have the option of picking new playmates if my old one has no use for me anymore. And I was getting annoyed that the collar was forever notifying him of my status (and me of his) every time I was logging in. A person could login a dozen or more times as it isn't unusual for SL to lag, cause crashes or otherwise freeze up or kick you off. I can only imagine how annoying (or not) it was for him.

So I took a rather radical step. I reset the collar. What that did was basically activate a script that said that I was running away from my master and then I had no owners anymore. That's what I wanted, at least at this time, but I need to IM Daddy and see where we are. Closure or none, I'm okay with him as it is only a game and he seems to have found some happiness in it. I don't want him to think he's hurt me or needs to protect me. Things were intense between us for a bit and that was thrilling. I learned a lot during and through all this mini-drama.

I did close the night out flirting, friending and chatting up a fellow who actually had the same last name as me after I had changed back into my hot elf clothes. I did try to TP him to one of my adult hangouts (he had never been to any adult sites before but was keen to try) but for some reason we couldn't get his settings to work right. No big deal. I don't have to fuck ALL my male friends! Ha!

I did have one embarrassing episode in the airport recently. I was there, chatting up Airport Guy who pretty much lives there. The lag is so awful, I have no idea why he does it, except I'm sure he has met a lot of people and has a lot of friends there. Anyway, a rather large headless dragon was skulking about and getting people with his tail, so I thought I would use a bit of elven magic to burn his big butt. However, soon the entire place was engulfed in the huge fireball and the lag had affected everything so badly that I had no control over it. No one could see anything and it took several tries before I could finally TP out and extinguish the flames. I didn't make any friends with THAT stunt!

I did manage to locate and adopt a sort of home-away-from-home, I think, or at least a more vanilla place, which would be the Elf Wood Club. It's very small and simple, which is why I like it, and the people I've met there have been very friendly, even when I was dressed entirely too slutty. Or maybe they liked it that I was dressed too slutty! Horny male elves!Haha! But I might try inviting a few of my more vanilla human friends there sometime.

Thus ended my very short life as a kept elf mistress.

More Thoughts on the New House

I had many mixed feelings about the new house. It was amazingly flattering, but at the same time scary. I was not interested in taking this out-of-world, but this whirl wind left me dazed. Daddy had been nothing but kind and generous and I tried to return my gratitude. Which means that we met at the house several times, and we fucked every which way on all the furniture. I spent a lot of time shopping for good looking outfits, and he seemed to enjoy these, especially the boots but also the rest as well. He does have a sense of style that I think exceeds mine.

Having a place to go besides downtown, shops, clubs and the airport has a lot of advantages, because I can escape the lag of these busy places and try on the various outfits that I buy. But the place can also be quite lonely as there are not any neighbors close by. And it is always snowy here. And I haven't figured out how to get the boat to work!

This last time Daddy and I got together, it wasn't a terribly drawn out encounter. Basically he had a good time fucking me while I was suspended above the bed and then had to go rather quickly. I was totally fine with that, as I was getting a bit restless for something different. Maybe a different guy or a different experience. I'm not sure which.

Housebroken

My fascination with trying out a bit more of being an elf continued when next I logged on. I actually started out at my favorite BDSM mall, which has been functioning as my home base as of late. I was hanging upside down on a light pole, while looking for elf clubs to join and places to go. So when I TP'd to an elven village, every time my avatar moved, it did a cartwheel as if it couldn't decide which side was up. The residents were exceedingly friendly and welcoming but I had to go back to the mall to see if I could fix my cartwheel tic.

When I first logged on, Daddy was not on, but by this time he was and he IM'd me, asking what I was up to. I was literally just hanging out tied to the pole. He then said he had something for me. Well, if there is one way to hook me, it is with curiosity. And as it turns out, I had something for him, too. I had the RLV working in my Windows partition. So after a few minutes, he gave me a TP invite and I was off!

I landed in a place that at first looked like an arctic version of some of the clubs we had been to. I could hear a fire crackling in the background and Daddy was there tottaly dressed in white. He was totally upstaging me, fashion-wise!

I looked around and the room was filled with wonderful bondage toys. So I figured this was what he had for me. But he had more. Much more. He alluded to this being our place. Our house. And then dumped 2500L$ into my account.

I was flabbergasted and shocked.

I should have done some sort of fainting animation, because it's exactly how I felt. SL realestate is not necessarily cheap, and it certainly isn't free. I've never really looked into it that much, because I always figured that I would just be wherever I would be. He had clearly put some effort and resources into this place. And a great deal of thought as to my tastes. All the furniture involved being tied and chained, with all sorts of fancy and in-depth animations to go with it. I begged him to leash me up and give me the tour, which he did. And then we tried out a few of the fun toys.

Oh, and the place is on the water with a yacht. Yes, there is a yacht involved. He spared no expense, here!

It was wild and exciting. He was pleased with the RLV, but it does have some trade-offs. For one thing, the RLV makes me a bondage/chain magnet. After strapping me down and doing me, when we got up I could move but my collar chain wanted to stay fastened to the toy. It's as if it is always looking for a place to get hooked, and this place had plenty! Another problem was that since the RLV only works in my Windows environment (there is a version for Linux, but I haven't gotten it to work) I am subject to enormous amounts of lag. Many of the poses and sessions were absolutely hot, but the lag was robbing much of the atmosphere. Walking, moving talking...everything in ultra-slow motion!

He finally said he had to go, and I had to go, too. But after he left, I could not resist looking everywhere and trying out all the toys and investigating everything. Plus I played with my elven ring. The snow made a great backdrop for many of the animations and effects.

I'm still in a daze over this development. Things are kinda moving fast! In about a week I've gone from being a total nOOb to being a kept woman! Daddy has never been anything but kind and generous. I'm lucky in that I could have ended up with some sort of griefer who could have abused me. While Daddy does know much more about Second Life, he's apparently new to a lot of BDSM. He commented that he was getting a lot kinkier since meeting me. He also didn't know what a RLV was, which is a pretty standard feature on most BDSM equipment. Before he left, I promoted him from secondary owner to primary owner of my collar, so now he has pretty much as much control as he wants. It will be interesting to see how he exercises it.

Feelings: a lot of astonishment that this guy has apparently sunk a lot into our relationship, such that it is. I am totally flattered by the attention that he lavishes on me. And yet, I wonder if he's really assuming the role or if he's getting a bit deeper into it than I would like. I see this as role play and thought he did too, per an earlier conversation. I think he would say that he is, but if so he his truly playing it masterfully! Because he is playing like a man who is becoming smitten with me. Either way, it seems that I'm playing my end of it to the hilt and like it. But when does it become less of a game and more damaging or dangerous? Am I going too far in messing with this guy's feelings?

These are things I'm thinking about, as well as my need for sleep. Leading a life plus a second life is a lot of work and takes a lot of time!

Being an Elf

Honestly, I sometimes wonder how you RL girls do it all! It is such a bother changing clothes and making sure everything matches and is coordinated and then there's making sure the collar, boots and cuffs are on properly and locked...such a chore! But perhaps it's a bit of an artistic way of self-expression. This, I can relate to somewhat, and that is really what having an avitar is all about.

The next time I logged on, I was not in the mood to be submissive at all. Daddy has a way of bringing that on, however irresistibly, and this night I wanted to be an elf warrior princess, again. So I put my old elven duds on, and Tp'd around Bay City and other points. I made a couple of purchases for my elven side, including a new Elf Warrioress costume that is sexy, slutty and hot! The bad news is that I cannot wear a cloak while wearing my collar. Or if there is a way, I need a clue about now.

I also purchased the Elven Ring of Power, Eliste. it is a massively cool ring that enables me to do a bunch of neat little effects, including summoning a dragon, summoning fish, arrows, fire, a flying pig, a giant fish, various emoticons as well as rez/unrezz and do stuff with other objects. It is totally awesome to emit fire, ice or just a shower of snow or flowers or all of the above at the same time. I'm not sure what I can do to other people. I tried it on one poor girl/dragon and I might have TP's her into some sort of endless void. She interpreted it as being kicked out and was able to come back, so no harm. I just need to be careful, and try to find someone to practice on. Daddy is an awfully good sport and might go for it.

But I wasn't terribly nice this time out, essentially taking my IM off the hook so he couldn't tell when I was online. I suppose he could have still IM'd me, but he didn't and I didn't IM him. I just needed some time to explore on my own and be a she-elf more that a slut-elf. For what it's worth, I ended up going back to slut mode when I met this girl at the BDSM shop. She insisted on seeing my elf-self and then showed me her dragon self. She wasn't much of a dragon, actually, more like a baby dinosaur. And she was talking through a translator and gave me tale of woe where she was rejected by humans and dragons alike and felt very alone. What could I do, except give her/it a hug? No wonder she wanted to see someone more elvish than human.

I then went back to the city, after changing back into my submissive elf-self, and chatted a bit with Airport Guy. Remember him? But he was hanging in the airport, which is lag-hell, and even I ended up getting kicked out eventually. But I think I'd like to try him out a time or two just for fun. Perhaps I'm too promiscuous for a SL relationship like what seems to be going on with Daddy.

You Always Take Me to the Nice Places

I usually only get to be in Second Life on the evenings, but I did have a chance to login on a Sunday afternoon, once. And sure enough, Daddy was online! It made me wonder how he could afford to be online so much. We actually IM'd across the vastness of SL, me at my favorite toy store, and him wherever he was. Basically we came to a simultaneous agreement and pact that whatever happens in SL stays in SL. He made mention of having to be careful because he had kids around, so I know he has mitigating things in his own life. Or I suppose it could be a “hers” which I would find most amusing. I mean he does show a bit concern over fashion, changing his look and colors a bit more often that I would normally be inclined to do. Also, while he enjoys fucking me and eating me and occasionally spanking me, the domination isn't very heavy handed at all. And this is probably a good thing overall, as I see just how submissive I can get. But the locking collar, cuffs and boots...he really does not avail himself of the various features of each of these hardly at all, outside of the leash for the collar. I find that just a tad irritating, but it's just a bit. I made him a secondary keyholder that first time, and retained my own primary role and he's never pressed for anything more or even the keys to the locking boots, which he essentially paid for and picked out for me. These aren't huge things, but just little tells. Nothing to get bent over, and I figure he has other girls online that he is doing just as much as me. He definitely knows the ropes!

We did have a chance for a brief little session, when he showed up wearing a blue cape, and we went to a dungeon which had all sorts of various toys and props. I think my favorite was being nailed while tied from the pole. The bondage and animations all hit my buttons very nicely.

He had to go offline for awhile, so I amused myself by playing with some of the toys and then to my other favorite place to play some more with their toys, including a few new ones.

After that, I decided that I needed to change outfits, especially the boots. I did a bit more shopping for red outfits. He came online while I was still trying to put my outfit together, and when he TP'd me to his location, he was also “dressed” in red! We went around some sort of gothic building and engaged in a little play, but this time he was lagging very heavily. I was also having trouble keeping up with him because I wasn't leashed. The encounter concluded in the bathroom, of all places, where he fucked me from behind while grabbing my hair. It really was absolutely hot. I used that line from Unfaithful, where Diane Lane's character is being fucked in the bathroom by her young lover (while her friends are just outside having lunch) and she sighs into his ear, “You always take me to the best places!” Daddy didn't quite get it, but it was still totally hot until SL totally froze us in that position. And that was the end.

Well, I did decide to visit a club that I had visited during my second visit to SL that I hadn't really blogged about. Back then, the place was under construction and I met a guy who was doing the building and we chatted for a bit. This night, when I went back, there was actually less development in the area, but there was a club with an American flag out front. There were all sorts of “Help Wanted” signs out front as I walked into an otherwise deserted club. Inside there was some shopping spaces as well as the club area with a bunch of poles presumably for the hired dancers. Each had a tip jar near it. I went up and availed myself of the pole and became an instant pole dancer! Ha! Perhaps I could have a career in SL after all!